Oldie But Goodie

I was at lunch today with my brother and was telling him about this Craig's List posting that a trader friend from NYC had sent me a while back. It was hilarious.

Because I like nothing better than sharing, here it is for you to enjoy.

This is a personal add that was posted on Craig’s List in NYC a while back:

What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.


And this is an answer that was posted:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

I'm a Real Boy, er, Cyclist

There are some things in life that by their very nature are a right of passage; first kiss (dating life), getting your drivers license (freedom), birth of first child (parenthood), etc.

Well yesterday I had one of those "right of passage" moments. You see, I have been doing triathlons and riding my bike for a number of years (off and on). And until yesterday, I had never crashed. So on my way home from my noon ride yesterday, I entered the ranks of "cyclist" - a label that I am told is only attained upon, among other things, the successful completion of a road race, the shaving of one's legs, and a good crash!

Anyways, crusing home I was turning right into a little neighborhood when I felt my front wheel get a bit "mushy" and it became a bit difficult to control - Apparently it is a bit difficult to turn when you get a flat tire. Go figure. Anyways, I was leaning into the turn and my front wheel followed by my back wheel) came out from under me. My hip took the brunt of the initial impact before I slid across the pavement.

All in all, it wasn't too bad. Could have been much worse. My hands stung a bit and I got a little road rash on the fore arm and hip.

The thing that is driving me nuts now is my broken thumb. You would be amazed how hard it is to button your pants/shirt without the use of a thumb.

Anyways, it is handy having a brother around who is an orthopedic surgeon. I got right in and got an x-ray. First crash - first broken bone!

Few things I learned from this experience: (1) gauze pads were created by the devil and Tegaderm is the cat's meow (thanks for the heads up John); (2) I would much rather fall on a bike that most other injuries - it happens so fast that you don't have much time to react and as long as you don't break your collarbone (most common cycling break), you will not be too bad; and (3) road rash stings like hell when you first get in the shower.

Random Stuff While Waiting for the 4:10 tipoff

Well today - after swimming - I have sat on my rump and waited patiently for the KU game to start. 6 hours is a long time to wait. So in the meantime, I cheared against Duke, watched K-State exit the tourney, and worked on my video-editing skills, which are pretty limited right now. I got my "trial" software last weekend and this is my second video. I figure I better start working on my skills now so that by the time our "star" shows up in June, I will be ready.
Anywho, here is my latest creation - again, my new niece.....



Anyways, the game starts in 20 minutes, so I gotta limber up and get ready.

Beware! Crackdown on NCAA Pools....

If this year is anything like 2005, BE CAREFUL!!!!

As some of you may recall (most will not), American jails "flooded over" in 2005 after law enforcement officials conducted a nationwide NCAA March Madness bracket sting. In total "[a]bout 67 million people were rounded up, which experts said exceeded the government's expectations by 'almost 67 million people.'"

So keep those office pools quiet and be vigilant!

To get the full flavor of what happened in 2005, click here.

Kansas #1 in Midwest Region

The Bear Stearns "banksters"

Most people who pay attention to the financial news have been mesmerized by the Bear Stearns fiasco. This is the biggest fraud since Enron and another good reason why you cannot rely on the government to protect you or your money.

A little background, in January 2007, Bear was worth about $20 billion and was trading at about $175 per share. Last Friday Bear had a market value of about $3.5 billion. Last night, it sold for $236 million to JP Morgan, a price that is far lower than the book value of the building that it owns; estimated to be worth about $1.3 billion. Now, Bear and JP Morgan contend that this price is preferable to filing bankruptcy; however, if Bear were forced to file for bankruptcy, all of its payments over the last 90 days prior to filing bankruptcy would have to be repaid to the company under the 90-day lookback provision of the bankruptcy code. If that happens, it would most likely be revealed that Bear paid out billions, that's right, BILLIONS of dollars to its employees and executives last January as bonuses. Now where does the government come into this? Well last week, before the $2 JP Morgan offer was announced, JP Morgan, with the backing of the Federal Reserve, announced a plan to bail out Bear Stearns and guarantee Bear's financial future. The current $2 sham offer is also backed by Uncle Sam; which of course means that you, as a taxpayer are paying for this bail-out.

As the "gentleman" in the following video says it much better, the american taxpayer is paying for the Bear Stearns executives' maseratis.



And on the funnier side, Jim Cramer, the blowhard who is tolerable for about 4.5 seconds, said last week on CNBC that there was NOTHING to worry about, and if you were to take your money out of Bear, you would be silly, silly, silly.



Oh really? Bear Stearns has dropped from $30 per share to a little over $4 per share today.

Let the games begin.

(Thanks to #5 for the videos)

Introducing Eve Marie

My new niece - Eve Marie .....